Leo’s is a fun place, I have written about it before over on The Devil and My Muse. The night we went it was a busy and very happy. Folks were playing Euchre, lots of laughing, there was a good crowd for early on a Saturday night. This place doesn’t serve liquor, so my usual libations were not available for consumption.

Beer just takes too long, I am still a big fan of beer, it is just a very inefficient means of getting a buzz on. I suppose I have developed a tolerance to alcohol over the years but more likely, I just get full before I get happy when I intend to drink beer for kicks. Having said that, I enjoyed the hell out of my beer at the Bier Haus. Despite the name, there are no rich German beers for sale here. Just the usual domestic fare and a few popular imports. The tap beer is common but fresh and even a Budweiser  is delicious ice cold and fresh on tap.

We had Killians on draught and it was served in a frosty mug. The kicker was they were only a buck! One slim dollar bought a pint of cold beer. At that price I could learn to drink beer in excess again. We stayed for three rounds before we lurched on to the next bar and harder potables. The bar has a very family feel to it, not that it is ok to bring your kids but rather that familial atmosphere where everyone knows each other and is there to have a good time.

The back bar is spectacular, although cluttered with sports memorabilia and assorted detritus. I had asked about the bar the last time I was in there and was told it was the original 1880’s bar but had  been cut down when they lowered the ceilings. The main room is actually rather small, but there is a good sized back room that I did not visit this time. They have one of those mechanical bowling games. I have never played one, but perhaps I will in the future. There was also a dartboard. The jukebox was playing standard redneck rock but somehow it wasn’t annoying, it fit very well in this space. I would have felt like something was missing had there not been Tom Petty singing about getting high.

The mix was mostly guys and couples but we were there early, as we were leaving a group of young women walked in. I can only speculate on one odds of meeting someone at Leo’s but I bet they are as good as anywhere else that is not explicitly a “hook up” bar, which Leo’s is not.

The bartender was friendly and he did well with tips, since the beer was so cheap. I do not remember if the buck a beer was a happy hour price but I doubt it since it was Saturday. Typically happy hour pricing does not apply on weekends. There isn’t much more to say about Leo’s, except I will be back. It is the perfect corner beer joint and I am sure a good time is to be had any night of the week.

Ratings (scale of one to five)

Dive rating:3

Drink Quality: 5

Atmosphere: 4

Cleanliness: 4

Picking up a “date”: 3

Scenery:2

This place had been on my radar for a long time. Way back when I first moved to town I was given a tour of the bar scene. Just driving by and making mental notes about where the places were and what diving opportunities existed. I remember seeing the Dawg House for the first time, it is smack in the middle of a residential neighborhood, a small place built from cement blocks. There is no sign out front proclaiming the place as a watering hole in garish neon splendor, only a single lighted beer sign in the window. There is an ice machine out front, a good sign given the number of drinks we have had recently served with home made ice.  When we arrived we were waiting on another member of our party who was driving separately. We decided to have a smoke before going in and loitered in the gloaming twilight of a Saturday evening chatting and enjoying our cigarettes. There was a small group of folks doing the same thing a few feet away, they were laughing and having a good time in each others company. One of them warned us mockingly that everyone in the bar was crazy and we should leave now. Fortified with nicotine we went in and found one small room, a bar along one wall and tables set up around the edge of the building. There were game consoles and a T.V. What struck me immediately was how clean the place was. This bar was truly immaculate, with only a hint of pine-sol in the air. The back bar was frugal, but all the main brands of liquor were there and the upright coolers were well stocked with a variety of beers.

Tending the long Formica bar was an attractive young lady who instantly developed a rapport with us strangers seated at her bar. The place was not crowded and we were served with a great deal of attention. I ordered a Crown and Coke and bought one for my companion. I jokingly said I wanted to taste the liquor and watched her free pour a perfect shot into a real live rocks glass. Finally, a genuine rocks glass for my mixed drink! The frosty drink landed on my coaster and the price was very reasonable for Crown, $4.25 if I recall and I find that to be a steal these days. Our bartender chatted us up and smiled, she moved with a certain professionalism with just a hint of flirty swagger. I could tell right off she didn’t learn to tend bar in our small town. When I asked her about it, she confirmed that she had big city bar experience. I can always tell, a good woman bartender flaunts her stuff just enough to keep the bar dwellers interested. She sells the illusion of availability, the notion that maybe she would really like to take you home after last call. This is of course just an illusion, the girl is working and trying to get tips and keep the old men at the bar drinking and spending money. This is her job, but done well it is also very entertaining for the guests. I know she got my tips and I did stay a drink or two longer than I would have. Many of the locally trained bartenders, male and female, do not take the time to be your friend. It takes experience in a larger setting to cultivate those skills.

I have been privileged to have been served by all types of bartenders, busy ones, slow ones, bad ones, great ones, the very best are the bartenders that make you think they are your best friend. They share in inside joke, they pour a bit more for you if you are spending well, and if you are a regular you get to talk and they listen. All of these things end up making money for the bar, however many a bar owner is so afraid of losing a penny on a drink that they imprison their bartenders and dampen the very skills that will make them money.  Sometimes the bar is just too busy for much interaction, but there should always be the feeling that you are the reason they are there.

The place was nearly empty while we were there on a Saturday night, the music from the jukebox was too loud but we didn’t care. I was advised by the bartender that the place is normally packed but because of some large party that night many of the usual patrons stayed away. There were two old men at the corner of the bar. I wondered about them, what they were thinking while nursing their Old Milwaukee an quietly talking to each other. The classic neighborhood bar is just like that, many ages, many types all from a few blocks away.

There was a menu posted above the bar as well as an array of snacks. There seemed to be a small kitchen in back as well. The cheese burger looked good but I didnt eat. Sometimes the burger fried up in a small bar kitchen tastes like heaven, at 1am. It had to beat driving to White Castle, but that is another post.

So I will go back to this place, a true neighborhood bar. I would like to see what kind of revelry happens on a good busy night.  We drove by on an earlier excursion but it was after 1am and the place was shutting down. That night there appeared to be a good crowd.  Our bartender said she works one night on and one night off in 12 hour shifts. She probably won’t really remember us when we go back, but I bet money she will make us believe she remembers us well.

Ratings (scale of one to five)

Dive rating:3

Drink Quality: 5

Atmosphere: 4

Cleanliness: 5

Picking up a “date”: 3

Scenery:4

The Long Branch sits in an obscure corner of town, near some old rail road tracks. The neighborhood includes some vacant  lots and is otherwise fairly empty for a block or so. I was told never to go into the Long Branch, I have friends who, learning at their daddy’s knee advised them to never enter the Long Branch. Legend has built up around this place so much that one might think even driving past such a den of iniquity would damn ones soul to hell. Sorry to disappoint, but this place is not only perfectly safe, it was a blast to be there. I don’t know anything about this establishments history, maybe it was rough at one point in the past, but today this bar is a clean, modern, fun bar to relax in.

Our group of three arrived and got stools at the bar, we ordered drinks that were delicious and well made with the right amount of alcohol. The beer selection left a little to be desired; however, as there were no darker imports or micro brews available. My friend settled for a Hoegaarden, a Belgian white ale that isn’t dark at all and frankly not to my tastes , but of course I was drinking Whiskey. I know a bar has to stock what sells, so only a few points off for not stocking darker full flavored beers. Within moments of settling into our seats a friend of mine saw me and came over to say hello. It was nice to meet someone I knew at a bar I had never set foot in before. We talked for a moment and she shared her story about being warned away from this place, then laughed at the absurdity of the old warning.

The lighting was good, a warm ambiance, not too dark and not too bright. There were pool tables and hard point darts.  There was a darkened stage along one wall with what looked like some decent house equipment standing idle in the shadows. The bar had a decent crowd and it looked like folks were having fun. There was a single bartender managing the bar and he was moving at the speed of light, bouncing around and servicing the customers with a great speed, if not grace, but he was friendly and we tipped him well. The next hour saw us shoot a game of “gentlemans cricket” and enjoy another drink. I stepped outside once to join other patrons who were observing the indoor smoking ban. The establishment had put out stools and ashtrays to make the outdoor smoking experience a bit more comfortable.

There was a good mix of men and women, but the guys outnumbered the unattached girls. There were some couples and the over all mix was a good one. The music came from a juke box and there was a steady line of folks waiting to drop their quarters and make selections. I really enjoyed my time at the Long Branch. I think it would be a great venue for live music, the room is large and features the aforementioned stage. I plan to go back to this place and find out a little more about it. Why the bad reputation, when bands play and what kind of music, I would also be interested in the speedy bartender that ran that bar all by himself, admirably during a busy night.

We moved on at that point, wandered off into the night to find and sample yet another dive bar, but we will be back to the Long Branch and despite what dire warnings still circulate around this place, I am sure we will find a good time.

Ratings (scale of one to five)

Dive rating:3

Drink Quality: 4

Atmosphere: 4

Cleanliness: 4

Picking up a “date”: 3

Scenery:2

Locker 8 Sport Bar is located on the west side of town. The west side of Lancaster is a working class neighborhood, once populated by thousands of workers at the large glass factory nearby. Recent decades have brought slower times to the glass manufacturing business and consequently there is less income to be had from the plant. The west side remains a very working class neighborhood today, only not as affluent as once upon a time, and sadly the area’s reputation has suffered because of it.

Locker 8 Sports Bar is a corner watering hole that has seen a couple of management shifts in recent years, this current sign is fairly new and there seems to have been some small renovations. We got there fairly late on a Saturday night, probably close to midnight. This bar has a 1AM closing time. Many bars in town close down at 1AM. I am not sure why this would be the case, since most licenses allow for a 2am last call with closing time at 2:30. Perhaps it has something to do with liability, the one in the morning closing time my cut down on problems by curtailing that last hour of drinking. We settled onto bar stools and ordered drinks. The drink quality was average, I had a JD and coke, once again a mostly honest shot, and I didn’t feel cheated in any way.  The bartender was a woman and she was friendly and seemed a bit busy with the other clientele, who were laughing and seemed to be having a good time.

It was Karaoke night, and we got there right at the tail end of it. The last act was a man, obviously near the end of a long night of drinking. He finished up his song while my group chatted and tucked into our drinks. Suddenly the man who had just finished singing, was canvassing the bar patrons as to whether he should perform an encore. I was approached and he earnestly asked if I wanted to hear more. He looked so intent on one more song that I encouraged him to take the stage one last time.

Meanwhile, one of our party somehow got into a conversation with another very inebriated customer about cell phones. Most of our group have fancy smart phones with internet access and all sorts of goodies. I have no idea how this particular conversation got started but soon I was dragged into it because of my phone, which I was using to record a snippet of the promised Karaoke encore.  The gentleman holding forth, advised us he owned a $400.00 cell phone but for reasons not disclosed his “room mate” wouldn’t let him leave the house with it. Ok, not that any of us really care, but the man persisted to let all who would listen that his phone was cooler than ours. I thought his money might be better spent on dental care, since he virtually had no teeth. Eventually, I was able to disentangle myself from the conversation but my friend was still stuck. I later found out the bar patron with the phone had asked for my friends phone number, and was invited to his apartment later, ostensibly to see the vaunted expensive cell phone. Needless to say, the offer was declined with vigor. I doubt the drunk, toothless, cell phone guy even remembers. He was harmless enough though. We felt no bad vibe in this bar, just a sense of things being barely under control. As if at any moment the alcohol would finally cause all sorts of bad behavior.

The encore was, you guessed it, Free Bird. The dude didn’t butcher it too badly, but how classic is that? Country bar, late in the evening, rednecks singing free bird at the top of their lungs. We laughed about it quietly to ourselves and continued to enjoy our drinks. The atmosphere at Locker 8 is average American dive bar fare. Neon and mirrors behind the fairly well stocked back bar, some sports memorabilia on the walls. There were hightops in the bar area and tables in the side room where the Karaoke was set up.  While finishing my first drink one of our group came over and suggested I see the bathrooms. Now, you can tell alot about how a bar is run and what the average clientele is like by investigating the bathroom. If the mens room is in a state of disrepair, dirty and stinky, well, that indicates a lack of respect by the owners and the patrons alike. Don’t get me wrong, a room full of drunks peeing all night long is bound to make a mess, but if it is obvious the mess is never properly cleaned up on a regular basis, that is where the issue lies.

What was interesting about the mens room at Locker 8 was the door. Someone had knocked holes all the way through the cheap laminate door. It looked as if some bar fight had ended up with someone fleeing into the john and the enraged pursuer vented his violence on the hapless door. Or perhaps some jilted lover found refuge in the shitter long enough to turn his heartbreak on an inanimate object. In either case, there were large holes with views into and out of the restroom.

There were only a few couples in the bar while we were there and I do not remember seeing any unattached females. So it was primarily an adult male crowd. Of course at midnight it is unlikely to find unattached females in a bar environment. If you haven’t figured out who you are going home with by midnight, you might as well resign yourself to another night alone. Just as well,  really, you would hate yourself in the morning.

Locker 8 isn’t really my kind of bar, so I am unlikely to return, but with just a little work it could probably be a fun place to party. The element of just in control hillbillies with lots of alcohol was a bit disturbing but like I said we never felt threatened or in danger. Actually, folks were pretty friendly, just ask my friend who was propositioned by the toothless phone guy.

Ratings (scale of one to five)

Dive rating:5

Drink Quality: 4

Atmosphere: 2

Cleanliness: 3

Picking up a “date”: 3

Scenery:1